But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
