If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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