i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
