Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize