Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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