two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
