What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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