It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
