I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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