I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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