I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
