Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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