well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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