i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
