i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
