No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
