Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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