i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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