just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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