I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
