its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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