I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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