i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
