you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
