nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
