garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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