Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
