i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
