Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
