Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
