I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
