You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
