So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
