I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
A+ Viking dick
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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