I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize