its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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