I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
