jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Can I color on your dick again?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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