bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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