We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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