i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
