how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
