i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
