we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
