he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
