Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
