I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
