so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
