Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
