Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
