Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I skipped work to stalk him.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize