They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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