when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
