i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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