no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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