i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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