I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
