If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
