a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
high people should be assigned attendants
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
