Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
