How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
