Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
