im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
