I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
