I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
