I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
stop calling my apartment porn island.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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